There is a memorable scene in the film, In The Heat of The Night, when Sidney Poitiers character is tired of the guff hes getting from his colleague, the Sheriff, portrayed by Rod Steiger.

To end the condescension, Poitier says: Call me MISTER Tibbs!

I can relate, as a customer, when Im speaking to a CSR who has taken the liberty of using my first name, without permission.

I dont know where or when the change happened in our society, empowering CSRs, and others we meet in business, to be so familiar, so soon. In fact, when I grew up, I was taught to use a formal title when:

(1) Dealing with adults, and people of a more mature age;

(2) Dealing with people who have formal titles, or who are acting in a formal capacity; such as doctors, coaches, teachers, and the like;

(3) With customers; and

(4) With strangers of all kinds, upon first meeting them.

Of course, the exception is when weve been invited explicitly to use someones first name, or when he or she introduces herself with a first name, only.

Heres the scene with which I have difficulty:

I call about my charge card, go through the voice prompts, and the CSR asks me for my name, last four digits of my social security number, and I reply with my name as it appears on the card: Dr. Gary S. Goodman.

How may I help you, today, Gary? is the offending question.

Either the rep should use my name, as I gave it, or use Mr. along with my last name, or not use my name at all, by simply asking, How may I help you?

I suspect the informality first crept into phone calls through technical support departments and spread to other sectors, from there.

Informality is great, but it has to be earned, or be voluntarily bestowed, but not used otherwise.