Good holiday traditions: strangers smiling at one another, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, little kids tearing into presents and Salvation Army bell ringers

Bad holiday traditions: Wal-Mart lines that are 20 bodies deep, greed, finding a parking spot at a mall and really, really annoying Christmas Carols that get stuck in your head. So help me God, if I hear the Muppets singing The Twelve Days of Christmas one more time, Im going to go postal. Seriously.

My favorite family traditions always have a central theme: eating. Forget all that eggnog, candy cane and fruitcake business. Around here the holidays are marked by chicken salad sandwiches, pimento cheese on Ritz crackers and generic lemon-lime soda.

Unfortunately, this year, the table will be missing all of my favorite Christmas goodies. These cherished annual delicacies have, for my entire life, been prepared by the loving hands of my paternal grandmother. But probably no longer.

In September, Grandma Engel reached her 90-year milestone. While she may not have been ready to compete in an Ironman Triathlon, she was still able to live independently in the very house where shed originally started making chicken salad sandwiches for me. One month after her birthday bash, Grandma suffered a bad spell. Translation? Congestive heart failure.

After a short stay in the hospital, and countless meetings with doctors, we had to face the inevitable: Grandma was far too weak to continue living on her own. As hard as the decision was, we had to do the best thing for Grandma; get her the observation and care that can only be provided by a nursing home.

My Grandmothers declining health is just one of the sad, inevitable parts of life. However, this change is compounded by the halt of many of our long-standing and beloved Christmas Eve traditions. It seems like with each passing year there is someone (or something) that alters the usual Christmas customs.

Changes are always happening, especially within families. Im sure you can think of times where the holidays were impacted by any number of factors: death, divorce, a job transfer, inclement weather that kept a family member away, military service. There are many reasons one could look around the breakfast table on Christmas morning and see an empty chair. Its no wonder that, for some, the holidays are one of the most depressing times of year.

Still, as I thought about all the years when it seemed like loved ones were absent, I kept coming up with just as many positive additions; my sisters marriage to my brother-in-law, Jim, the return of my favorite aunt and uncle to the mid-west and, best of all, Christmas 2001 when my first niece, Lauren, joined the world. Now, at age four, shes the perfect age to get excited about a visit from an overweight elf who slides down a non-existent chimney! And, since a little sister has now joined her, there is always something new to see as they grow and mature.

It has been said that the only constant is change. With family and the holidays, it seems even more true. Knowing that we are destined to have individuals move in and out of our lives, this holiday season, take time to appreciate those around you for who they are, their special gifts, talents and personalities, and be happy while you have this time with them. No one knows what the next year may bring, so take a moment to realize just how rich life can be with those you love.