I've been lucky to have the opportunity to meet and work with some of the best top-of-the-line executives in the world. Learned a lot from them, too. Today's lesson from these leaders: It Ain't About You.

I learned this back in the 1980s when I was hosting and speaking at a series of presentations with people like Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, Art Linkletter, Zig Ziglar, Paul Harvey, Don Hutson, Ira Hayes and Cavett Robert, the founder of the National Speakers Association.

Ira, Cavett and I were in Kansas City talking about the tricks of the speaking trade. Cavett tells us that he has discovered the answer to fear of giving presentations. Well, you can bet we wanted to learn the answer to that one!

"If you remember that your presentation is not about you, it is about the audience," Cavett told us, "you can reduce the anxiety you feel before a presentation."

He didn't say, you'll notice, that you won't have any anxiety. You still have some, but that can work to your advantage. That, however, is a discussion for another time.

Cavett says that if you focus on yourself, rather than the needs of the audience, you'll worry too much about trying to achieve perfection. No presenter can reach that standard. But, if you focus on the needs of your audience, your anxiety level goes down and you heighten the possibility of making a successful connection with your audience.

This lesson goes beyond speaking. This is also a rule from Marketing 101. Companies that beat their chests, announcing how great they and their products are, never succeed like the ones that find out their customers' needs and focus on them to a fault.

I think it works in personal relationships, too. So, remember one of the greatest lessons I have learned: It Ain't About You.